Hi. My name is Dave, and this is my very first collection of essays. As you can probably imagine, it pretty much has everything. In fact, if you like stories about stolen meat, animal attacks, young love, death, naked people, clergymen, rock 'n' roll, irritable Canadians, and prison, you have just hit a street called Easy because my book talks about all that stuff and a bunch of other stuff, too.
Getting back to that prison thing for a second—I can think of almost no better place to read my book than from within the confines of a correctional facility. For starters, you will definitely have the time. Also, cozying up with a good book in front of your fellow inmates is a great way to show them a softer side that for some reason no one ever wants to hear about in the yard.
Fear not, though, non-convicts, my book makes for a solid read outside of prison, too. At the beach, on the subway, while whitewater rafting, during couples counseling, under local anesthesia—I have personally seen to it that my book is totally readable in all these scenarios, as well as in most other scenarios out there today. It will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even think so much that you will forget all your problems while simultaneously creating a few new ones. In limited instances it has been known to cause severe dehydration and the occasional groin pull, but honestly I don’t know what that’s about. That said, it’s probably not a bad idea to keep a glass of water handy and really stretch things out before strapping yourself in for a literary thrill ride you will want to experience again and again until you are either dead or your eyesight fails completely, whichever comes first. In fact, if I end up being wrong about any of this stuff, you can kick me right in the privates. Also, I will send you a nice ham (serves twenty). In short, you really can’t lose on this one.
Dave Hill is a comedian, writer, and musician originally from Cleveland but now living in New York City. He has written for The New York Times, Salon, Huffington Post, NY Daily News, and Guitar World among others. He is a regular contributor to public radio's This American Life and starred in his own TV series, "The King of Miami" on the MOJO Network. He has also appeared on Comedy Central, BBC America, MTV, and Adult Swim and is a regular host on HBO and Cinemax. Dave stages his own chat variety show "The Dave Hill Explosion" at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York and Los Angeles and also in London wherever it is tolerated. He also plays guitar and sings in his own rock band Valley Lodge. Tasteful Nudes is his first collection of non-fiction essays. In it, he discusses topics including but not limited to accidentally arranging a lunch with a high-end prostitute, becoming an unwitting accomplice to the theft of three hundred pounds of meat, and, and losing his innocence to a Japanese toilet. Average, run-of-the-mill stuff. Dave wrote Tasteful Nudes mainly to make people laugh and maybe touch a few hearts. And if it ends up leading to sex for him, well that's just a bonus.